After living in Spain for almost six years, I get a bit of reverse culture shock when I visit my family back in the US. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not trying to pull a snobby expat or give off recently-back-from-BalenTHia (Valencia) college student vibes. These reverse culture shocks are occurrences that are related to the true culture shocks I experienced when I first moved to Madrid, and even after over half a decade living there I still sometimes feel like I haven’t gotten used to all of them (I’m looking at you, innocent-seeming elderly ladies who surreptitiously try to skip me in the bakery line). But now that I’m slightly more acostumbrada1 to the Spanish way of life, things that once seemed normal to me in the good ol’ US of A now seem odd.
Since it’s my first week back on American soil, I thought it could be fun to write about some of these distinctions. An obligatory disclaimer before we get started, though: the following are conventions that are different in the US, not better or worse than the customs in Spain.
Mealtimes feel short. When I first moved to Madrid, three-hour-long lunches and dinners with friends felt almost painful. I consider myself an extroverted introvert (like 90% of millennials on social media), so while I enjoy being around groups it’s also exhausting after a while. Add in speaking in my second language for an entire meal, and I was ready to hole up with my cat and a Netflix marathon for the rest of the day after a Sunday lunch.
But now back in the US, meals seem too short. I timed a recent meal out at a restaurant and it lasted approximately 45 minutes (I admit, this was an extreme case). I felt like I had no time to “solve the world’s problems” as David likes to say, or even to let my food start digesting before standing up from the table. To make up for it, I made my dad walk with me to get a coffee and a cookie after lunch (pictured above). Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands.
Meals are earlier. This is the one thing that many people probably do know about Spain: mealtimes are much later. Lunch is eaten anywhere from 2:00pm to 3:00pm, and dinner isn’t typically eaten before 9:00pm. Here in the US I think I’ve stayed up past 9:30pm only one night so far! People always think that adjusting meal times will be difficult, but it’s actually easy to get in the daily rhythm of the country, no matter where you are. Frankly, I’ve been quite happy with my 5:00pm dinners.
No one shares. Okay, this is an exaggeration. But people in the US are much less likely to order several items from a menu and share them with their friends (unless they’re at a tapas restaurant, or maybe ordering sushi). While this is changing little by little, most restaurants by-and-large are set up for patrons to order an appetizer or two to share, but with the idea that each person will then eat their own main course. I have to admit that sometimes I like this—it can be nice to have your own food and not worry about everyone getting their quota (see French toast picture). But it also means you get to try less dishes, which makes for a less adventurous meal.
Fountain drinks are abundant. I spoke about this a bit in this weeks’s Sunday Sobremesa, but fountain drinks are not very common in Spain. You’ll see them in fast food restaurants (mainly chains imported from America), but in most restaurants if you order a soda it comes in a glass bottle or can. The upside to no fountain drinks is that the flavor is much more consistent and fresh. The downside is no free refills.
Free water! This is the only item on this list that can be definitively categorized as a score for the US. You are never charged for water here, unless you specifically order mineral water or something along those lines. In Spain, while bars and restaurants are technically required by law to serve free tap water to customers, it’s way more likely that if you say you’d like to drink water, they’ll go ahead and bring you a glass bottle of water (and charge you for it).
Conversely, in the US, they’ll bring you as many glasses of free ice water as you like. In fact, if you go to casual chain restaurants, they often bring you a new water even before you’ve finished the one sitting on your table. Which brings me to…
Waitstaff are a teensy bit overzealous. I want to clarify that I’m not criticizing, because I thought nothing of this before I lived abroad. In Spain, if you want something from your waiter, you have to call them over. Sure, they may ask if you need anything as they whisk away the empty gazpacho bowl before bringing out your tortilla, but waitstaff tend to lay low (sometimes too low—even laid-back Madrileños can get frustrated trying to track them down at times).
Here servers are much more aggressive: they give you your menus right away, come back after a minute or two to see if you have any questions, quickly return again to take your order, halfway through your steak ask if you’ll want to see a dessert menu, three bites into your brownie they’ll leave you the bill (“No rush, whenever you’re ready”), and by the end of the meal they’ve probably brought you up to four refills on your sweet tea depending on how fast you drink. This is probably a direct result of tip culture, which doesn’t exist in Spain (a convo for another day). This is also probably the direct cause of meals only lasting 45 minutes. We Americans like efficiency!
Coffee, coffee, everywhere, and lots of it to drink. A few months ago we were watching a show on Netflix and David commented on how everyone was always drinking coffee all the time. It wasn’t even a show with yoga moms walking around with huge Starbucks cups or hipster Brooklynites frequenting a local shop with an ironic name. Nope, it was some gritty detective show where everyone was meeting at diners and drinking coffee out of standard-issue white mugs, or grabbing a cup of Joe from the office (non-Keurig) coffee station while complaining about crime clearance rates. The coffee was 100% not part of the plot, but it was everywhere. And naturally, it was drip coffee.
Drip coffee is ubiquitous in the US, but hard to find in Spain. If you want something similar, you have to order a cafe americano, which is an espresso shot with hot water added (think latte, but with water instead of milk). Spanish americanos are usually smaller2 than your standard US drip coffee, because they’re also typically stronger. Here we can drink drip coffee all day without getting a stomach ulcer, but I dare you to do that with americanos in Madrid.
And that concludes my highly astute observations for now. As you may have noticed, I’m having a much harder time adjusting to time in general rather than food timing (hence this newsletter being a day late… aparentemente voy con un día de restraso3). Maybe I just need more drip coffee?
What food culture differences have you noticed while traveling (this could even be within your own country, or own state, depending on where you live)? Do you like to spend time talking after a dinner out, or would you prefer to leave right away? Are you Team Drip Coffee or Team Espresso? Let’s talk in the comments!
Hasta mañana!4
Ki
Acostumbrada: Accustomed
On americanos usually being small: Except in Starbucks, of course. The only time I go to Starbucks in Spain is when I want a gigantic americano.
Aparentemente voy con un día de restraso: Apparently I’m running a day late. Referencing the fact that this week’s Sunday Sobremesa was published on Monday and this newsletter (which would usually land in your inbox on a Wednesday) is also a day late.
Hasta mañana: See you tomorrow
The one thing that never ceased to amaze in the US was portion size. It isn't a joke when they say that the food portions are bigger. I remember years ago I went to a movie theatre and just wanted some water, so I was given this MASSIVE cup filled to the top - I think I missed half the movie from how hydrated I was!
I think tater tots are quite an American potato-form as well? We definitely don't have them in the UK! It's a shame because I love eating them. They're so little and you can eat a whole load before feeling full. In the US, I think there's a stronger "get in and get out" mentality at a restaurant, unless you're eating at a fancy restaurant? It's more fast paced and one of the joys of Spanish culture is the relaxed atmosphere and a stronger emphasis on enjoyment of food and friends.
Oh I am actively resisting the Americanisation of server culture here... I just want to be left in peace!